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TILL SCRIPT
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TILL EULENSPIEGEL
Version 30/08/99
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SCENARIO
MIKE MAURUS
original idea by
PIET DE RYCKER & BERNARD GOOSSENS
characters:
citizens are mostly mammals:
Till rabbit
Owl owl
Nele rabbit
Bailiff fox
Captain wolf
Priest weazel
town guards warthogs
bodyguards bulls / bears (something really big)
other citizens cats, dogs
exceptions: owl
king and his court:
king rooster
treasurer rabbit, Till's twin
exceptions: moles
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010 OPENING SEQUENCE
EXT TOWN CAMERA RIDE THROUGH STREETS TO MARKET SQUARE
UNDER THE EYES OF MANY GUARDS, PEOPLE GATHER AT THE MARKET SQUARE. NOBODY LAUGHS OR TALKS. THE CROWD IS IN A DULL, DEPRESSED MOOD
NARRATOR
"Law and Order" were the key words used by the town mayors to oppress the cities they had to rule for the far away King. Under the whip of Law&Order, they had the people work harder than ever. Under the whip of Law&Order, they raised higher taxes than ever to feed the far away King. These town mayors were called the bailiffs.
CAMERA RIDE THROUGH WINDOW INTO
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020 INT TOWN HALL BAILIFF'S DRESSING ROOM
THREE CHICKENS DRESS THE BAILIFF. IT IS A CHAOS; BECAUSE THEY CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MINDS: TRY THINGS ON, HAVING TROUBLE TO PULL THEM OVER THE FAT BAILIFF, THEN UNDRESS HIM AGAIN. WHILE ONE CHICKEN PULLS SOMETHING OVER HIS HEAD, ANOTHER ONE TRIES TO UNDRESS HIM, THE THIRD PUTS ON DIFFERENT SHOES, AND SO ON.
THE CAPTAIN OF THE TOWN GUARDS IS LEANING AGAINST THE WALL, CLEANING HIS FINGERNAILS WITH A BIG STILETTO, LOOKING MEAN, BORED AND DISGUSTED BY WHAT HE SEES.
BAILIFF
Today's a special day. It's the King's birthday. I'll raise the taxes a hundred percent.
CAPTAIN
We should have a celebration. Every townsman has to show up and sing. I'll take the entry fee.
BAILIFF
I'll tax the entry fee a hundred percent!
CAPTAIN
Plus they'll have to pay taxes for singing in public.
BAILIFF
A hundred percent!
THEY BOTH LAUGH
BAILIFF
Have they gathered at the market square? Everything ready for my speech on the King's birthday?
Let's go!
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030 EXT TOWN HALL BALCONY FACING THE MARKET SQUARE
BAILIFF
...a very special day. The King wants everybody to be happy on his birthday. No taxes will be raised today!
CROWD CHEERS LOUDLY
BAILIFF (LOUDER)
And no work should be done today! Have the day off! Bailiff's order!
THE CROWD CHEERS EVEN MORE. HATS ARE THROWN IN THE AIR. THE BAILIFF GREETS THE CROWD WITH RAISED ARMS AND VICTORY SIGN.
NARRATOR
But in one town there lived a joker who didn't bow to the rules of Law&Order. He played jokes and tricks on practically everybody.
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040 INT HALLWAY IN FRONT OF BALCONY DOOR
BAILIFF, CAPTAIN AND GUARDS APPROACH THE DOOR. WHEN THE CHEERING IS HEARD, THEY STOP AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN ASTONISHMENT.
THEY RUSH FORWARD AND STOP AGAIN AT THE SECOND CHEERING OF THE CROWD.
BAILIFF
What... how... but... they are HAPPY!
CAPTAIN (pulls out his sword)
HAPPY?
THE BAILIFF REACHES FOR THE DOOR KNOB. THE DOOR IS PULLED OPEN AND HE FACES HIMSELF. HE DOES A COUPLE OF MOVEMENTS AND IS MIRRORED BY THE PERSON OUTSIDE ON THE BALCONY
BAILIFF (inside)
But...
BAILIFF (outside)
But...
BAILIFF (inside)
...you...
BAILIFF (outside)
...you...
BAILIFF (inside)
...are me!
BAILIFF (outside)
...are me!
CAPTAIN
Till !!
WITH HIS SWORD, THE CAPTAIN PUSHES AWAY THE BLACK POINTED HAT OF THE BAILIFF OUTSIDE. TILL'S RED AND YELLOW HAT WITH THE JINGLES SPRINGS FREE.
BAILIFF
You again! What have you done to make them laugh?
THE CAPTAIN CUTS OFF A BUTTON OF TILL'S BLACK ROBE. THE ROBE SLIDES DOWN AND REVEALES THE CUSHIONS HE USED TO LOOK LIKE THE FAT BAILIFF. TILL SMILES AND ONLY NOW WE SEE THAT HE TALKED THROUGH TWO BLOWNUP FINGERS OF A WHITE GLOVE TO MAKE HIS SNOUT LOOK LIKE THE BAILIFF'S.
TILL (smiling embarassed)
Gave the day... off?
BAILIFF AND CAPTAIN (unisono)
Noooo !!
(to the guards)
Get him! Throw him out of town!
WHILE MOVING BACKWARDS, TILL LOOSES ALL ATTACHMENTS HE USED TO DISGUISE. IN THE HUDDLE OF GUARDS PUSHING HIM OUTSIDE, TILL TRIES TO REACH THE BAILIFF AND THE CAPTAIN
TILL
Freed them from tax paying !
BAILIFF AND CAPTAIN (unisono)
Don't throw him out! Throw him in prison!
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050 EXT TOWN HALL / BALCONY
TILL AND THE GUARDS FIGHT. TILL DOES NOT HIT OR VIOLATE THE GUARDS IN ANY WAY. HE DEFENDS HIMSELF BY PRODUCING A LOT OF FUNNY / TRICKY THINGS FROM HIS POCKETS AND SLEEVES, LIKE SNEEZING POWDER, RUBBER HANDS, TINY LOBSTERS, SLIMEY GLUE, ETC.
EVERY TIME A GUARD SEIZES THE FIGHT, ENTANGLED WITH ONE OF TILL'S TRICK OBJECTS, WE HAVE A FREEZE FRAME OF HIS MOST FUNNY POSE.
THE FREEZE FRAMES CONTAIN THE
RUN TITLES
AFTER RUN TITLES, THE FIGHTING SEIZES, THE GUARDS FREEZE IN THEIR ACTION. WE SEE THAT THEY FOUGHT EACH OTHER. TILL IS GONE.
NARRATOR
Well, all the joker wanted was to change tears into laughter. But this time, I guess, he went a little too far...
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060 EXT ROYAL PALACE EARLY MORNING
THE SUN RISES OVER THE ROYAL PALACE AND GIVES THE CASTLE A GOLDEN LOOK.
KING (OFF)
AAARGH
SERVANT 1 (OFF)
The king has a crisis again.
SERVANT 2 (OFF)
Doctors ... where are the doctors ?
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070 INT KING'S BEDROOM
THREE DOCTORS (BLIND MOLES) RUN TO THE KING'S ROOM.
DOCTOR 1
Out of my way !
DOCTOR 2
Get to the side !
DOCTOR 3
I told you that our patient wouldn't survive your barbaric methods of Bologna.
DOCTOR 1
Barbaric !?
DOCTORS ARRIVE AT THE KING'S FOUR-POSTER BED. THE KING IS SUFFERING FROM SEVERE BOREDOM. DOCTOR 3 TAKES THE THICK, GOLDEN CURTAIN ROPE IN HIS HAND AND FEELS HIS PULSE.
DOCTOR 3
No heart beat ...
DOCTOR 1 TOUCHES THE ICEBAG ON THE KING'S HEAD.
DOCTOR 1
He's freezing ...
DOCTOR 2 IS LISTENING TO A SPARE PILLOW BESIDE THE KINGS HEAD.
DOCTOR 2
He stopped breathing ...
THE THREE DOCTORS PUT THEIR HEADS TOGETHER. THE KING IS LOOKING INCREASINGLY INTERESTED AT HIS CONSULTANTS.
KING
... and ...
THE DOCTORS STOP THEIR DELIBERATIONS AND TURN TOWARDS THEIR KING.
DOCTOR 1
... My majesty ... you're dead.
THE KING FALLS BACKWARDS ON THE PILLOW.
KING
Oh, no ...
THE TREASURER ENTERS THE BEDROOM AND IS EXTREMELY EXCITED.
TREASURER
Your Majesty ! Your Majesty!
KING
Shhh ! I'm dead.
TREASURER (to himself)
I wish you were...
(to the king)
the tax collector has arrived. You're richer than ever!
KING
I don´t care... I´m dead.
THE KING TURNS TO HIS DOCTORS
KING
Well ?! Why do I pay you ? Can't you do something ?
DOCTOR 2
I recommend a drilling.
DOCTOR 3
... an exorcist.
DOCTOR 1
... put you on hard water.
KING
Aaaargh! Can't you agree?
DOCS 1, 2, 3 IN UNISON
No!
KING (with a weak voice)
Then I'll have you decapitated. I´m bored of everything and everyone around here!
DOC 1
That's not medical.
DOC 2
Not scientific.
DOC 3
Maybe he needs a break.
DOC 1
Needs to travel !
DOC 3
A journey !
DOC 2
All expenses paid.
DOCS 1, 3 IN UNISON
We'll go along with that!
KING
So, I'm not dead anymore ?
DOCTORS TOGETHER
No !
KING
I wish I were! This Boredom is worse than death.
THE TAX COLLECTOR ENTERS.
TREASURER
Your Highness, here are the taxes from your most out-of-the-way province.
THE SERVANTS BRING IN SEVERAL WOODEN BOXES AND PUT THEM DOWN. THE TREASURER OPENS ONE OF THEM AND TAKES OUT A GOLDEN EGG.
TREASURER
Your highness, this is my latest idea: the subjects have to deliver their taxes in egg shape!
KING (hardly takes note of it)
What a boring idea.
TREASURER (to the doctors)
Sigh... I give up. I´ve really tried everything to cheer him up...
SUDDENLY, IN THE BOX NEXT TO THE FIREPLACE, AN EGGSHELL BREAKS AND A CHICKEN APPEARS. THIS HAPPENS WITH ALL THE EGGS IN THE BOX. THE KING AND THE DOCTORS ARE ASTONISHED WHILE THE TREASURER BECOMES VERY ANGRY.
TREASURER
What´s this? That´s... incredible!
KING
That... that is even funny!
TREASURER
Funny? (to the tax collector) Who dares to fool the king?! Where do these eggs come from?
TAX COLLECTOR
F.. From a town far away. There are always rather strange things going on in the outer provinces...
TREASURER
They will pay for it! I'll take my personal guard and get the taxes myself. And the responsible will be decapitated! And if I can't find them, I'll burn the town to the ground!
KING
And I will accompany you. But we don't need your guards. We'll travel incognito. Big adventure!
TREASURER
But that... that´s dangerous!
KING
It is a journey. Doctors' orders...
DOCS 1, 2 & 3 IN UNISON
A matter of life and death.
TREASURER (sighs)
On your command, royal highness! But for security reasons I do insist that we are travelling with my personal body guards!
KING
No guards! St. George didn't need any help defeating the dragon! Parcival found the holy grale all by himself!
TREASURER (to himself)
But you wouldn't find the way to the toilet in your own palace...
(to the tax collector)
I remember the area... is this joker still doing mischief around there?
TAX COLLECTOR
Ah, no, no, treasurer. He has left town years ago. Disappeared without a trace...
BLEND
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080 EXT COUNTRY ROAD DAY
WE SEE THE EMPTY COUNTRY ROAD WINDING THROUGH A LOVELY LANDSCAPE WITH LAWNS, FIELDS, GROUPS OF SHADY TREES AND SMALL FORRESTS.
FROM BEHIND A HILL, TILL AND THE OWL SHOOT IN SIGHT, RIDING SORT OF A HUGE MEDIEVAL SURFBOARD ON SMALL WOODEN ROLLS.
IT FLIES HIGH DIRECTLY IN DIRECTION OF THE CAMERA AND OVER IT.
FINALLY THE RIDE ENDS WHEN THEY CRASH INTO A SIGN.
WHEN THE DUST HAS SETTLED, WE SEE TILL AND THE OWL SIT AMONG THE PIECES OF THEIR SURFBOARD. THE OWL IS WEARING AN EYECLAP LIKE A PIRATE.
TILL (holding a piece of the broken sign which says "...town 3 miles")
Can't wait to get back! After so many years of travelling, today's the day! I'll see my love, Nele !
OWL
Do you think it's wise to go back? The town mayors were really mad at you. All the tricks you played on them...
TILL
That was an accident...
OWL
Accident! If we hadn't left then, they would have thrown you in prison forever!
TILL
It's such a long time now that I haven't seen Nele. I promised her to be a grown man when I come back. A respected person. A hero. She promised to wait for me. I have to go.
OWL (hops into Till's hand)
I'll show you something, you oh-so-respected hero ... the future.
THE OWLS EYE TURNS INTO A MIRROR
WE SEE THE MIRROR FLICKER LIKE A TV SET, THEN IT CLEARS AND SHOWS A QUICK SEQUENCE OF PEOPLE FALLING OFF LADDERS, RUNNING AROUND WITH SMOKING TROUSERS, FALLING INTO FOUNTAINS AND SO ON.
THE MIRROR DARKENS AND TURNS BACK INTO THE OWL.
TILL
That wasn't the future. That was the past.
OWL
And will be the future. All the fuzz will go on where it ended 4 years ago.
They'll throw you out. Or worse.
TILL
No, no. I'll promise to behave, and they'll let me stay.
OWL
You behave... oh, yes. Of course. You REALLY are a joker!
What shall we do with the guards at the town gate?
TILL
Let's try the old forward - backward trick again...
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090 INT NELE'S HOUSE DAY
A JACK-IN-THE-BOX IS OPENED AND A PUPPET HEAD OF TILL SPRINGS OUT OF THE BOX. NELE IS DREAMINGLY LOOKING AT HER HERO.
NELE'S MOTHER
Still wondering about this boy my girl ?
NELE
More than ever mother, I'm so anxious to see him ...
NELE'S MOTHER
Yes, but you know that it is dangerous for him to show up again. After all he did...
NELE
All he ever wanted was to cheer us up. He just wanted to...
NELE'S FATHER
Cheer us up? And what a fine job he did! After he disappeared, we were taxed for listening to the Bailiff's speech! All holidays where cancelled forever, replaced by workdays, DOUBLE taxed for working on holidays!
NELE
Can't you see it wasn't Till who did this to us? It's them!
SHE POINTS OUTSIDE
NELE'S FATHER
Ssshhh!! They have ears everywhere...
I say, stay away from jokers and marry a shoemaker! Work hard, follow the rules and stay out of trouble.
NELE
You don't understand him, father. He is not at all what you think he is. He promised to change! He will be strong ..., handsome ..., grown up.
AT THE SAME TIME NELE PICKS UP THE JACK-IN-THE-BOX, GETS UP AND CLIMBS THE STAIRS.
NELE'S FATHER
Ha, ha, ha ... Don't tell me how jokers are ! They never change !
If he shows up, I forbid you to meet him!
NELE DISAPPEARS INTO HER ROOM AND SLAMS THE DOOR.
NELE'S MOTHER
You're so insensitive ! Why can't you shut up for a moment ?
NELE'S FATHER
... and ruin her life ?
HE PICKS UP HIS HAMMER AGAIN AND STARTS HAMMERING THE HEEL OF A SHOE.
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100 EXT TOWN GATE DAY
THE GUARD AT THE TOWN GATE FREEZES IN AMAZEMENT WHEN TILL ARRIVES MOVING BACKWARD, FACING THE COUNTRY ROAD. THE OWL SITS ON TILL'S HAT AGAIN, FACING THE TOWN. TILL HAS ALMOST MANAGED TO PASS THE GUARD BEFORE THE MAN COMES TO LIFE AGAIN, AWOKE BY THE TINGLING OF TILL'S BELLS
GUARD
Hey ! Not so quick ... where do you think you're going?
TILL (pointing to the road)
I'm leaving the town.
GUARD
Leave?... But you... (he looks puzzled again, pointing to road and town, arms across, then at the owl)
And the owl?
TILL
It was about to enter the town
OWL TURNS IT'S HEAD 180°, FACING THE COUNTRY ROAD
GUARD
But...
TILL (looks up)
Oh, sorry. Wait...
TILL TURNS HIS OWN HEAD 180°. BOTH OWL AND TILL FACE THE TOWN
GUARD
Hah! I remember you! Till, the joker! You never obeyed the town rules of law and order! Leave the town! Leave immediately!
TILL
If you say so...
THIS TIME HIS FEET TURN.
NOW HIS AND THE OWL'S BODY FACE THE TOWN WHILE THEIR HEADS FACE THE ROAD
TILL
Bye, bye!
HE STARTS WALKING INTO THE TOWN
GUARD (satisfied, pointing at Till)
There you are! And don't bother trying again! Law and order! Law and order!
TILL AND THE OWL NODD, TILL GRINNING STUPIDLY
TILL
Law and order! Law law and order order! Law law law and order order order!
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110 EXT MARKET PLACE DAY
TILL, ON HIS WAY TO NELE, ARRIVES AT THE MARKET PLACE FULL OF STALLS AND SHOPS.
TILL
Law law law and order order order...
HE STOPS AND LOOKS AROUND.
HE MISSES THE USUAL LIFELY TRADING AND THE CONFUSION OF VOICES. ONLY A FEW PEOPLE BUY AND SELL VERY QUIETLY.
TILL
Look at this odd place. No fun at all...
OWL
That's what they mean with law and order. But it's non of our business...
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